LOVE and other lifealtering situations
by JanineD
Summary: Takes place a few months after raincoats and recipes. Luke and Lorelai action! Rory is also in the picture. Pls read & review CHAPTER 6 UP!
1. Saturday morning gets you started

**L.O.V.E. and other life-altering situations…**

**Disclaimer: **No,no,no,no,no I'm saying no,no,no,no, no nothing here is mine…so no,no,no,no,no I'm saying no,no,no,no,no -don't sue!!!

**Chapter 1: Saturday morning gets you started**

Lorelai awoke one morning to the smell of freshly made pan-cakes. At first she thought she was still dreaming. Home-cooked breakfast in the Gilmore household was something so impossible that it could only be a dream. Yeah, that had to be it. She was still dreaming. And her dreams where trying to tell her that she was hungry for some breakfast. Duh! Great dream analysis. Whoever had said that she needed Rory for that?

Lorelai still lay wrapped up in her sheets and smiled. She was dreaming and smiling. Suddenly however she realized that she was freezing. Can you feel cold when you are dreaming?

Didn't think so either.

This wasn't a dream. Lorelai finally made an attempt to lift herself up from the bed only to be almost strangled by the sheets. Then she noticed why she was freezing. She was naked. Lorelai was bare-naked in her bed, slightly sitting half lying because the sheets didn't allow a full sit-up on the right side of her bed, and from downstairs there was a smell of fresh food.

Fresh food- that meant Luke's.

Wait Luke's…

Oh…

Yeah…

Right…

Something…

Last night…

Luke and her…

She and Luke…

Naked….

Finally the synapses of Lorelai's brain made the necessary connections. This was for real, she and Luke had passed home-base last night and now Luke was downstairs making her breakfast. This kind of reminded her of the dream she had had about 2 years ago. She was pregnant in that dream though. Oh my god – was she pregnant? Oh, no, hold on Lorelai…you were safe last night. Okay, hurry up with the remembering there, she told herself. This was only going slowly. Sex can't possibly slow down your thinking, could it? She didn't really have the answer for that immediately but resolved for her own sake that good sex could have that effect. And good it definitely was. I mean, wow. This was just…perfect? Yeah, perfect. Big word, but totally appropriate. This was just her and Luke, and Luke, man, he was gentle, passionate, breathtaking, sensitive. All of the above. Luke's a great lover!

Darn, why hadn't she noticed earlier. I mean why hadn't she felt the tension between them earlier? Those last three months had been great. Dating Luke had been great and last night definitely was the best so far of their short relationship. They had taken their time, had slowly gotten accustomed to being lovers instead of friends. They had had a great summer with movies and romantic dinners, with crazy town gatherings, with loads of flirting and kissing of all kinds. They had spent the nights together just talking and occasionally falling asleep on the couch. They had brought Rory to the airport when she was leaving for Europe and they had picked her up together 5 weeks later. They pretty much hadn't spent a day without each other. It had been great. Although they had taken their time with the physical part, everything up to this point had been so perfect, that it almost scared Lorelai.

I mean, it had never been that perfect. And if it had, like with Christopher, all of a sudden something had happened and everything was down the drain again. Or with Max. They had been so happy until Lorelai had chickened out in the very last minute. This couldn't continue to be so perfect could it? Lorelai's love-life never was perfect. It was as if she was attracting screwed-up relationships. Come on. Digger Stiles? Nothing but weird. Max, Rory's teacher? Way too complicated from the beginning. Oh and Christopher? On and off again like a jojo, totally unbearable. So what was wrong with Luke?

Nope- nothing. She couldn't find anything. Luke was perfect. Lorelai smiled upon that thought, but immediately her face switched back to worry. She was waiting for something bad too happen. She knew it would come, there was just no way around that. Destiny did not want her to be happy.

She sighed. Rory was just the proof for that. The Dragonfly had a great opening, her and Luke were perfect, even Emily and Richard were working on getting back together, but Rory, Rory just wasn't herself anymore. After that night with Dean and their huge fight things had been different. I mean, both of them had tried to act normally around each other, but there was something between them, even though Lorelai couldn't say what it was. They still talked, they still laughed, they still had their silly and crazy moments, but something had changed. Both of them were still figuring out what to do.

Lorelai's mouth escaped another sigh. Alright, so not everything was perfect. The whole Emily-Richard thing wasn't really perfect either. They were working on it though. After Emily's trip they had done some serious talking and both of them had made amends. There was still hope on that front. The happy-end was still far away and Lorelai kind of doubted that it would even come, but there was still hope.

The smell from the kitchen became so intense that Lorelai could hardly stay in bed any longer. Her stomach was crying for food and coffee, which was both down there along with her boyfriend Luke…boyfriend Luke, well, it still had a weird sound to it. Not a bad sound, just one she wasn't accustomed to. Lorelai untangled the sheets, got out of the bed and pulled on her bath-robe which had been sitting on a chair beside the bed. She involuntarily smiled at the sight of her clothes and underwear scattered on the floor. It had been a great night. Then she made her way down the stairs to the kitchen and had to smile even more when upon entering she caught sight of Luke's flannel back. She'd never talk him out his flannel shirts and she had to admit she didn't want to. This was just Luke. This was just so him. As long as he would exchange them for something dressier for special occasions she was fine with them. They had proven to be comfortably soft, not as scratchy as other men's shirts.

"Good morning, lover boy" Lorelai teased.

"Morning, slug-a-bed" he replied, only turning away from his pan for a moment to give her a morning-after smile. Lorelai wasn't sure- had she heard whistling before? No. No. That would be too cliché. Luke whistling after having sex. Thinking about it- how long since Luke last had sex? Nicole. Yeah, no wonder she married him. He definitely wasn't out of practice.

"Dirty" Lorelai scolded herself.

"What?" Luke hissed. He couldn't find anything dirty about his way of making pan-cakes. Crazy woman.

"Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking aloud."

"Oh, I see. Care to share?"

"Well, can't you guess, master of love?"

Luke blushed and smiled but didn't say anything. He simply gave her a quick kiss before he nodded towards the pot of coffee sitting on the counter.

"Mhm, I could really get used to that." Lorelai said grabbing herself a cup to pour some of Luke's coffee into it. "A Luke's breakfast at home. I don't even have to use energy to get dressed and walk over to the diner. And I don't even have to use energy to get undressed in the evening because I have someone for that" she gave him a meaningful smirk.

"I'm glad I'm useful for something" Luke replied. The pancakes were finally ready and he put them on a plate which he set down on the table in front of Lorelai who had just sat down.

"Thanks"

"You're welcome. I have to get going though. I have to open up the diner."

"Wait what time is it?"

"It's like 7:30, why?"

"I'm up and awake at 7:30 on a Saturday?"

"Yes, the smell of food was probably dragging you down here." Luke remarked mockingly. "Well, I'll see you later though!"

"Is that all the coffee you made?" Lorelai asked looking at the ¾ filled pot.

"Yeah, why?"

"Then you'll definitely see me later" Lorelai nodded in agreement and Luke smirked. He had always enjoyed Lorelai's coffee addiction.

Lorelai quickly got up to give him a hug and to kiss him goodbye. And it was quite some goodbye kiss. Both instantly wished that Luke could stay, but no way… Stars Hollow needed its proper breakfast. They reluctantly let go of each other and Luke walked out the kitchen-door, mouthing a "See you later" to her on his way out.

Inside Lorelai was eating her breakfast and never stopped smiling.

On a busy Connecticut highway Rory was stuck behind a smelly truck and cursed at the driver for not giving her a chance to pass. She hadn't thought about the heavy traffic on Saturday morning on the road from Boston to New York when she had spontaneously left Boston one-day earlier than planned. She was supposed to spend one more day with her dad's family, but after three days, she couldn't stand it anymore. I mean Chris was fine, but he was really wrapped up in Georgia who was really cute and luckily more like Chris than Sherry. Rory adored her little half-sibling, but she'd rather have her dad to herself for a few hours to talk about things. She had had a really bad time this summer and wondered where to go from here. There were so many issues that she still had to face but she didn't feel ready for it. Jeez, her life was just messed up and totally not right at the moment.

Chris however was too busy with his family to notice. She had kind of hoped to get some help from him. That had been the reason for her to go visit him in Boston in the first place, but her hopes had not been fulfilled. The few days had given her nothing but more disgust for Sherry who constantly would get on her nerves with her "purple is the new pink" or "doesn't GG look cute in plaid skirts"-rants. That woman was impossible. How could her dad bear living with her? Georgia probably was the only reason why. It still made Rory sad to think that Chris couldn't bear staying with her and Lorelai but could stand the impossible Sherry. She knew it wasn't her, it was all him not being ready for a family the first time, but she still couldn't stop secretly being envious of GG. GG- what a name! She'd always call her sister Georgia.

Rory let out a deep relieved sigh when she finally made it past the stinky truck. She had already spent three stinky days and had had her share of stinkyness for this week. Hear that? Stinky cars, trucks, people, out of the way! Here comes Rory Gilmore who's unnerved and ready to jump into anyone's face. She wondered, did she have the "Don't mess with me"-look plastered on her face? She sure hoped she would.

Oh she couldn't wait to get home where she could bury herself on the couch with blankets and pillows and a good book and she wouldn't have to talk to people. Solitude sure sounded good. Maybe after a few hours she might feel inclined for a night with Lane or with her mom. But for now, just a book sounded best. Reading a book was always a great mood-improver. She felt like mastering a real long one right now. Eating junk-food along reading was obviously included.

Just then Rory passed the sign for the approaching Hartford exit and quickly decided to pass by a good book store and a market in Hartford. Doose's just wasn't her favourite place to shop anymore and well Andrew's- she almost knew his whole collection, so she browsed the streets of Hartford.

She quickly found an appealing looking book-store who was located right next to a big Safeway. Perfect. She parked the car relatively close to the shop-doors happy that it was still kind of early for people to shop. The book-store revealed itself to be quite big on the inside, but Rory quickly found out that there were a lot of sections she wouldn't bother looking at such as home-cooking, children's books, fantasy, romance/smut novels or sections such as monster-trucks. Who would buy a book about monster trucks? The people who watched those kind of shows didn't seem to be quite the ones to read. Oh well, maybe just prejudice.

Mhm, prejudice…Jane Austen sounded kind of good. She hadn't read Mansfield Park so far and this might just be the day to do so. She quickly found the book in the Classics-section and when passing the new-releases table on her way to the cashier's desk grabbed one more that looked intriguing to her. Paying didn't take too long and she was turning towards the door when something made her stop dead in her tracks. A man had just left he shop who looked terribly familiar to her. She hadn't seen his face, but his figure, his manner of walking… But it couldn't be. No, he wouldn't be here. No, no, no. That was impossible.

She shook her head at her stupid thoughts, quickly brushed away the idea and made her way out of the store to get some food in the grocery-shop next door.

This of all things was impossible. He wouldn't be here. He couldn't.

It only took Rory 10 minutes to find all the things she needed and to check out massive amounts of unhealthy food. She had grabbed a few extra things knowing her mom would probably pig out with her. Before she even knew it she was already on the road to Stars Hollow and had already forgotten about the encounter in the bookstore.

**A.N.: **Well, that's how far I've gotten. I have some ideas for future chapters, but I'd be happy for any suggestions! Does someone actually want me to continue with this fic? I am kind of thinking about balancing it out with Lorelai/Luke and Rory and a guy (definitely not Dean –eeww, no, the previews were bad enough) action. What do you guys think? Please review. Really any comment is helpful. Thanks, Janine

PS-Still searching for a better fic-title. Any ideas?


	2. Want coffee? Get by that Gilmore first!

**Disclaimer: **All the characters in this little story belong to someone who's not me…go figure!

**Chapter 2: Want coffee? Get by that Gilmore first!**

When Rory got home at 9:30 AM she was very surprised to find her mom already dressed and ready for the day. Lorelai was actually in the kitchen putting dirty dishes in the sink- an unfamiliar picture to Rory. What was wrong here? And the smell of breakfast hanging around in the air? There was something entirely wrong about that one for sure.

"Hey Mom" Rory greeted Lorelai and put down her shopping bags on the kitchen table. Lorelai, not having noticed Rory, jumped and almost dropped a plate.

"Jeez---You almost gave me a heart-attack…" Rory could see that Lorelai had not noticed her earlier when she had opened the front door and had walked into the kitchen.

"Well, aren't we a little jumpy this morning" she said with a smirk "or maybe just deaf? I mean, didn't you hear me come in?"

"Well, no, apparently not. I had my mind on other things" Lorelai answered.

"What things?" Rory asked casually.

"Huh?" Lorelai seemed to tense up a bit.

"What things did you think of?"

"Well, you know, just things…um, things like normal things one could think of in the morning…" Lorelai silently scolded herself for not coming up with a quick answer immediately. She had been thinking about Luke- obviously, but the thoughts were of a more personal nature. Not meant for Rory's ears. Yeah, definitely not. You don't discuss your sex-life with your kid, do you?

Rory however had sensed her mother's tension and she had a hard job not bursting out laughing at seeing her mother act like an animal in a trap. Luckily Rory's synapses worked just fine this morning. The smell of food, food which was not burnt, could only mean that Luke had made breakfast.

"Mom, did you think about Luke?"

"Yes" Lorelai replied sheepishly, like a child being caught after stealing a cookie.

"Mom, did Luke make you breakfast this morning?" Oh, Rory was enjoying making Lorelai uncomfortable.

"Yes" Lorelai had lowered her eyes to the ground trying to avoid Rory's gaze, who could not hold back her laughter anymore

"Mom, did you and Luke make hot and steamy love last night?" she mocked Lorelai making an obscene gesture and putting the emphasis on the 'hot and steamy'.

"Rory!" Lorelai cried out, not believing that her daughter could mock her so casually.

"Sorry mom, but you made it too easy. I mean, come on. You're a grown-up, well, at least part of the time, and I'm a grown up, and you are entitled to have an adult love-life especially with a nice guy like Luke, and it's not like you have to hide that he's spent the night or that you have to be embarrassed about it. I mean, I wasn't oblivious to the fact that the two of you would have sex eventually. Actually I was kind of expecting it to happen earlier. I mean, come on- all the flirting and kissing and teasing- I can't believe you guys took that long!"

Lorelai didn't know what to say to that. Rory was right and after all she couldn't explain why she acted so childish earlier. I mean she was a grown-up after all, talking to her grown-up daughter who had her own sex life. Oh, not a pleasing thought, especially if Lorelai thought about the nature of this sex life. Losing your virginity to your married ex-boyfriend kind of topped Lorelai's balcony-encounter with Chris. It was out-raging. And this was her little Rory. Her precious daughter.

Lorelai sighed. She obviously still needed some time getting used to the fact that Rory was leading a life now in which Lorelai had almost no say anymore and Rory was making her own choices and mistakes.

"Rory, I am sorry- I don't know what got into me"

"Oh, you don't have to be sorry. I thought it was rather funny." Rory turned around to get the rest of her things from the car. She still had the bags with her clothes and toiletries on the back seat.

Lorelai switched her attention back to the dishes and turned on the faucet, but then looked up again with a confused look on her face.

"Rory?" She shouted at her daughter who was just coming through the front door with her bag.

"Yeah?"

"What day is it?"

"Saturday, why?"

"Well, if I remember right, weren't you supposed to come back Sunday?"

"Yeah. I decided to leave one day early."

"Oh" Lorelai simply said. She didn't need to ask her daughter why she had come back home early. Sherry could really annoy the crap out of you. "Okay, I was kind of worried that I had missed a day"

"Why? Were you worried that you and Luke might have slept through a day because of the massive exhaustion?" Rory teased her when passing through the kitchen and entering her room.

"Hey" Lorelai replied upset. "Stop making fun of me!"

"Sorry" Rory said sticking her head out of the door of her room. "it's just so much fun because you're so easy to embarrass with this subject"

"Oh I am not"

"Yes, you are"

"No am not"

"Yes, you are, now stop denying and get back to work!"

"Young lady, hold your horses there. I am still your mother."

"See" Rory laughed "You're making it too easy. Wow, Luke really made you soft"

Lorelai didn't give a response but tried to throw a wet dish-cloth at her daughter, which, due to the lack of talent in sports in the Gilmore family, landed in front of Rory's feet making a huge wet spot on the kitchen floor. Rory simply laughed at that and turned back into her room and Lorelai let out a frustrated sigh before she turned back to her dishes. She hated it when Rory was on top of her.

* * *

A few hours later an exhausted Lorelai entered the diner and started looking around for her guy. Luke however was nowhere to be seen, but since she knew that he was working today she didn't bother going upstairs to the apartment but simply sat down on one of the stools at the counter. He was probably in the storage room or he would come down soon, so it wasn't use the energy going upstairs. Except of course if she could convince him to stay upstairs and do something entirely different than working, but then again, no. The lunch rush was about to start and the only one serving customers was Cesar, so he wouldn't give in. Thinking of it Lorelai was still kind of exhausted. Later, yeah later, she smiled.

"Hey what're you smiling at?" she heard Luke ask who had quietly come over from the storage room.

"Guess!"

"No" Luke replied harshly but with a smirk on his face. He'd never give in immediately. Later, sure, after some serious begging and a long rant of hers, but not immediately. He had after all still some male pride. Even though he would come and do whatever she wanted from him as long as she gave him her pouty face and her begging rants. Dog-like Jess had once called it.

"Why not?"

"Did I apply to Jeopardy? I'm not guessing. I was only asking a question, if I don't get an answer, fine. I don't need one." He turned away to get the coffee pot in order to pour her some.

"Oh you want to know!" Lorelai said triumphantly.

"Ah, yeah and why is that?" Luke asked still facing her with his back.

"Well, because you asked. Why would you ask if you didn't want to know? You're not exactly the man of words, if I may say so. Of course with exceptions, but however, you asked so you want to know."

"Ah jeez" Luke exclaimed "fine, why did you smile?"

"Guess!"

"Oh no" Luke said preparing himself for a long guessing session when to his luck Kirk entered the diner and walked straight up to the counter.

"Luke- I'll need a turkey-ham sandwich with out the ham. And a coffee please." Kirk said in his usual stiff manner.

"A turkey-ham sandwich without the ham? Why don't you simply order a turkey sandwich?" Luke asked annoyed. Kirk's orders were really annoying him, especially when they took him away from bickering with Lorelai.

"Because I want exactly the amount of mayonnaise and mustard on my sandwich that you put on the turkey-ham sandwich which is more than you put on a simple turkey-sandwich." Kirk replied dead honest.

"So why don't you just order a turkey-sandwich with more mayo and mustard then?"

"Does the way I order make a difference?" Kirk asked clearly confused by Luke's proposal.

"Fine, whatever" Luke mumbled "trying to reason with a crazy person…" and turned back to the kitchen to give Cesar Kirk's order and then went back to Lorelai who had giggled all throughout his conversation with Kirk.

"Well," he began "are you having anything else or did you just drop by?"

"Does it make a difference?" she replied playfully moving in to put her arms around his neck and looking at him expectantly.

"Well, no, I'm glad you here" he said before closing in on her to kiss her. A great kiss. A great lunch kiss in public. Just perfect. Lorelai had determined that every kiss with Luke was perfect. They were all different but all perfect for the special occasion and place. Like the good-morning kiss, the teasing before-coffee-kiss, the lets-go-make-love-kiss, the what-are-you-doing-tonight-kiss and right now the lunch-in-public-kiss. All perfect. Aaahh.

After a few moments and after Kirk had cleared his throat a few times in order to get their attention they pulled away from each other and Luke looked at her playfully.

"So what are you doing tonight?"

"Sorry, I still lack my coffee!" Kirk kicked in, but he wasn't paid attention.

"Hm, why? What's on your mind?" Lorelai asked giving him an explicit look.

"I don't know." He said hesitantly " You know, dinner maybe and what about getting a video and watch it together and then you know, whatever it might lead too, you never know" he responded smiling.

"Sounds great, but I kind of think that I have to spend the evening with Rory."

"Excuse me, does anyone care to give me my coffee?" Kirk asked helplessly.

"She's back?" Luke asked surprised "I thought she wasn't coming back until tomorrow"

"Yeah, but she left one day early" Lorelai explained "and now she's back at the house reading, eating massive amounts of junk-food and doing the brooding thing she's done all summer. You know the one where she doesn't want to have anything to do with the outside world. Kind of creepy, anyways, she said she might want to have a movie night later, and since we haven't done that in a while I think I should take the chance and try talking to her, you know. I sometimes worry. She just isn't herself anymore."

"Yeah, I wonder why." Luke said and Lorelai swallowed. She hadn't had the heart to tell Luke yet. She knew that he would be disappointed of Rory and well, very mad at Dean and she didn't want any of that. Of course she was mad at Dean and she'd surely like to see Luke beat him up, but she knew it wasn't any of their business. Rory had to deal with it, not her or Luke.

"Hey, am I invisible?" Kirk exclaimed frustrated.

"Okay, sounds good. Well, maybe if you like you can come over afterwards" Luke suggested.

"And have a pyjama-party?" Lorelai teased.

"Something like it, yeah" Luke answered.

"Hey, you two, I want my coffee" Kirk cried in despair.

"Okay, see you later then" Lorelai said, drinking a last sip of her coffee and giving Luke another short kiss before getting up and leaving the diner. Luke watched her dreamily as she stepped through the door and passed over the square and then walked around the counter to take orders of guests who had sat down at one of the tables by the window.

Kirk let out an exasperated sigh and let his head fall down on the counter.

* * *

**A.N.: **Okay this is mainly a room-filler. Just regular stuff you know. I hope you enjoyed it anyways. Thanks for the great reviews I've gotten so far. **Pink**- Thanks for your suggestions, I'll keep them in mind, though I can't promise you a new guy for Rory. I'm not so sure about that part yet! Anyways I greatly appreciate any reviews. Hope to get some more, as I already said, suggestions are very welcome! Bye, Janine 


	3. Saturday night brings you down

**Disclaimer: **I hate to admit: I don't own it!

**Chapter 3: Saturday Night brings you down**

Lorelai entered the Gilmore house after having spent the hours of the afternoon in the Dragonfly. She loved her Inn. For the first time she was working in a hotel that was truly hers. Well, hers and Sookie's but that didn't make a difference. Even though she was still afraid that they might not be able to keep up the success they were having- she knew it always took a few years until you could call an Inn established, she enjoyed it so thoroughly these days, that she knew she'd never regret the step she had taken.

Today however, her thoughts hadn't entirely been focused on work. More than once she had caught herself gazing away in day-dreams, wondering about Luke and their last night and reminiscing about their time together so far. Daydreams can be so great, if only Michel wasn't there to witness them. The already grumpy French-man was even grumpier when he saw Lorelai's mental absence. He usually didn't mind when she didn't interfere with his work and kept away from him, but seeing her so lovey-dovey he couldn't stand it all. Other people's happiness made him sick to the stomach. More than once he'd mumble to himself but loud enough so she'd hear it: "People in love are fools, all doomed have their hearts ripped out and shred into little tiny pieces. Everyone dies alone eventually." Lorelai merely rolled her eyes at this and let him be grumpy. She was way too happy to be distracted by Michel. Her and Luke had turned out to be exactly the thing she needed and wanted. Friends can really be great lovers she thought to herself.

So after all, Lorelai was kind of happy to get home today where she'd watch a movie with her daughter and think about Luke some more. And afterwards, yeah afterwards, that would be the best part of her day. Afterwards she could go over to her boyfriend's. Yes, and this time it wasn't complicated or weird or doomed to fail. Luke was great, he was perfect for her, they were perfect for each other. It would be fine. For the first time in her life Lorelai felt like it could last forever. It had never felt like that with Chris and not even with Max whose marriage proposal she had accepted. Luke was just a the kind of consistency she had been meaning to find. It was a comfortable and wonderful feeling knowing she could head over there tonight and having him be there. Talking to him about her day and having him hold her in his arms, falling asleep next to him- the thought of that gave her a warm sensation. And then of course there was the anticipation of last night's event to be repeated.

Yeah, definitely a nice thought.

Lorelai couldn't help but smile when she sat down next to Rory on the couch. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't even notice the miserable look on Rory's face who wasn't exactly in the best mood. Her day had been okay and the book had turned out to be okay, however she just couldn't distract herself from the awful feeling she had. Everything was falling out of her hands and she didn't know what to do with herself. After making that horrible mistake by sleeping with Dean and thus betraying every moral or value she'd had, she had started questioning everything about herself. Sometimes she'd look in the mirror, but she wouldn't recognize the girl/almost woman looking back at her. She didn't know what she wanted anymore. I mean, she had had her life figured out, she had had plans and dreams, but now she wasn't sure that all of that was what she wanted anymore. She didn't know if Yale was what she wanted. She was just so confused and unhappy. She couldn't find anything in her life to cheer her up. There was nothing she felt happy about. It was hard for her to drag herself out of bed in the mornings and she had a hard time not wasting the day in sweats on the sofa doing nothing. Whatever she did, whether it was going out with her friends, spending time with her mom, or studying, stuff she liked- everything that she had enjoyed before just didn't satisfy her anymore. Some people would probably call that depression and Rory wasn't so sure she'd disagree with that. She was depressed. And being that way, although she was happy for her mom, she couldn't stand looking at her mom's pleased face. Lorelai had everything going for her, and Rory just couldn't stand having an enormously happy person around at the moment. This feeling was only momentarily, after all she loved her mom and her own bad feelings weren't her moms faults at all and Rory would surely be sorry for her sentiments and actions in a few hours, but in this moment, she just couldn't help it.

She was miserable and Lorelai was all perky and happy and she hated it. It was unbearable.

"Oh would you drop that smile? It's getting on my nerves." She uttered in disgust.

Lorelai, totally caught in surprise by her daughters harsh reaction, responded in an equally harsh manner: "Well, who pissed on _your _day? What is wrong with you, you're acting like no one's allowed to be happy but you. Can't you let other people be happy? Do you have to drag everyone down with you? It's not my fault that you messed up your life!"

Rory looked at her mother in even more disgust. She wouldn't let the truth of Lorelai's words sink in. Self-pity wouldn't allow her to acknowledge that her mom was right.

"Oh yeah, right. It never is your fault. You always were the perfect role model" Rory replied sarcastically. "I mean, look, you jump in bed with my dad whose kid you had at sixteen every time he's back in town, you slept with my teacher, oh an yes, you went out with your dad's competitor. There's some role-model isn't it? Yeah, wonder where I got it from!" Rory added.

Lorelai was speechless. Was this the daughter she had raised? She didn't recognize this person sitting next to her on the couch. All of Rory's traits where gone. It was just a frustrated, world-hating being next to her. Rory it seemed hated herself and every one else was held responsible for that, every one else, but not herself.

Looking at her daughter Lorelai spoke words that came out of her heart and were at this moment the ultimate truth.

"You know, I am ashamed of you, Rory." She swallowed hard. "I am ashamed how you act, I am ashamed how you treat others, I am ashamed that you look for every ones' faults but for your own. I have to admit, for the first time in my life I am ashamed to be your mother."

Rory's eyes filled up with tears. Her mother's words were like a stab with a sharp knife right into the chest. However her stupid pride wouldn't allow her to find the right words. Instead she chose words that made her mother even more angry.

"Everything in my life is so messed up at the moment, how am I not supposed to act this way, after all I am just human!" she cried out.

"Everything in your life is so messed up?" Lorelai spat out in disbelief "Well aren't we on a high horse there lady! I mean, you're life is just so a mess!" she added dripping with sarcasm "Don't you think you're a little ungrateful there? I mean look at you, you have a home, you have friends who will forgive you anything, you go to Yale, you have the possibility to do anything with you're life, you have a guy who you've hurt many times in the past who cheats on his wife for you, you have friends who still support you after that, who give the blame to anyone else but you. And you're life is just a mess, right?"

Rory was sobbing now. She had her arms crossed over her chest and did not look at Lorelai in her stubbornness. "You don't understand me."

Lorelai was now a little calmer, but still too angry to reason with her daughter.

"You know what, I don't and actually, I don't fell the urge to try and understand. I am fed up with you and your self-pity. You know, I'd never thought I would stand this, but I can't stand to be with you tonight. I am fed up with this. I am going to spend the night at Luke's."

Without another word Lorelai got up from the couch, merely picked up her purse in the hallway and left the house banging the door as hard as she could.

Rory was left sobbing on the sofa.

* * *

Lorelai headed straight to the diner. She wouldn't stop when Ms. Patty called her from her across the square and she wouldn't stop when she almost ran over poor Kirk, who didn't know what had hit him. When reaching Luke's she stormed in and headed straight to the counter where Luke was getting people's checks ready. Without paying any attention to the customers she asked Luke: "Hey, can Cesar deal without you for now?"

"Yes…what's the matter Lorelai?" Luke asked dazzled by the startled look on her face. Lorelai however didn't give a response but went up the stairs to the apartment immediately. Luke of course rushed after her, shouting at Cesar to take care of the customers and sensing that this wouldn't only be a few minutes told him to close up early today as soon as the present customers were out.

Opening the apartment door he saw Lorelai standing in the middle of the room with an expression on her face he had not seen before. His heart stopped beating for a moment. She looked to hurt. And that hurt him. It had always hurt him when she was hurt. He loved her after all.

"Lorelai, what's wrong? What happened? You look like something terrible has happened!" He consciously avoided saying you look terrible, because honestly she wasn't. She still looked beautiful.

Lorelai however wasn't able to explain anything. She simply collapsed into his arms and started sobbing. He immediately put his arms around her and tightened his grip when he felt her slip to the ground because her strength had left her and she couldn't hold herself up anymore. Without hesitation he picked her up and carried her over to the couch where he sat her down softly and after sitting down himself pulled her onto his lap. Lorelai just cried into his chest. He put his head on hers and simply held her knowing that this was all he could do now and not asking for an explanation. He knew she would explain as soon as she had calmed down.

It saddened him. Her being so helpless and hurt. He wondered what had happened that had made his beloved Lorelai so sad and he vowed to help her make it right again.

* * *

**A.N.: **Okay this was kind of an emotionally draining chapter to write. It's just never easy on me, the fighting part I mean. Well, thanks for all the reviews I've gotten. They're really up-lifting, thank you guys! To all the Jess-lovers: wait and see! I can't promise anything, but I have an idea!!! Anyways, please review and tell me what you like and what you don't like. Gives me something to work with, you know. Bye, Janine


	4. Putting the pieces back together

**Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, don't own anything…**

**Chapter 4: Putting the pieces back together**

Walking home the next morning was quite a challenge for Lorelai. After some serious convincing by Luke and numerous cups of coffee she had finally pulled herself together and had decided to head home before she had to go to the Inn later. She had about an hour in between. Long enough to have a serious talk with her daughter and short enough to have a reason to leave early if said talk turned into terrible argument. Lorelai was afraid that it might turn out to be the latter if Rory's attitude was still the same. She didn't know how she would react if she found her daughter to be in the same self-destructive, world-hating mood. This was so not Rory. Lorelai still couldn't believe how much her daughter had changed after the Dean-incident.

Lorelai sighed as she thought about it. After calming down last night she had told Luke everything and he had exactly reacted the way she had anticipated. Furiously he had jumped up determined to go kill bag-boy at once, ranting about how he'd always disliked him and how he should have known and before Lorelai even knew Luke was out the apartment door. Visualizing what would happen to Dean if Luke found him Lorelai decided it was better to run after her boyfriend and get him to come back to the apartment. The last thing she could use right now was having her boyfriend arrested for assault.

Luckily the front door of the diner was locked and Luke still had to look for the key. This way she was able to catch up with him downstairs and after a few minutes of persuasion she pulled Luke back upstairs. She could swear she had heard him mutter something like "beware bag-boy, even if I can't get you know I'll find you later" but maybe she was just imagining things. After all she'd had a heavy evening.

Lorelai led out another sigh. She had arrived at the house. Even though she had walked extra slowly she had still reached the house within 10 minutes. 10 coffee-deprived minutes, so the conditions for the up-coming event could definitely be better, but hey, as they have it, you take what you get.

Move Lorelai, move Lorelai, she told herself.

Okay, maybe another round around the block.

There she went again. This was pathetic. Another round through Stars Hollow because Lorelai Gilmore chickened out when it came to facing her daughter who she'd had a fight with.

Okay, maybe it was like the worst fight ever, but hell, even Kelly and Jack Osbourne could make up. Why not her and Rory then?

Lorelai sighed again. She wished she was still back at the apartment with Luke pouring out her soul to him. She had never really been able to totally open up to a guy she had dated until last night. Last night she knew she could tell Luke everything. He would listen to her, he would care and he would offer help and advice if she wanted him to. He was there. Unlike any other guy in her life, he was there. He was there for good, for the long run- he was all in. What mattered to her mattered to him. Her concerns were his concerns, Her problem his problem. For the first time in her life Lorelai got an idea of how it must feel like having someone to share your life with. It felt great.

She didn't know what she had done if Luke hadn't been there last night. Without him she would have been so helpless and alone. His support was exactly what she needed. He truly was her guardian angel.

Maybe there was a little Dr. Phil in him after all, because Luke had truly been a great listener last night. The only advice he'd given her had been: Help her help herself.

Oh how true were these words.

Unbelievable that they came from a diner-man. But it was her diner-man after all, the one and only coffee-provider. Yes he was all hers. And she was all his. He loved her and she loved him. This was too good to be true.

Lorelai arrived- for the second time this morning- in front of the house. She hesitantly walked towards the door. Was she ready for this? No, not really, but thinking of it she probably never would be.

The task at hand which involved letting go of her daughter was one she had dreaded ever since Rory's birth.

Today would be the day. Lorelai Gilmore would tell her daughter to face her problems- on her own.

* * *

Rory was sitting on the couch a book already dressed and a book in hand when Lorelai entered. She looked up as she heard the door and put the book down immediately. She had waited for her mom to come home. She needed to talk to her. Desperately. Last night had gone so wrong. There were so many things that had been broken last night and were now in need of fixing. Rory felt so bad. She had never fought with her mother like that. Never.

Rory could sense the tension in Lorelai when she laid eyes on her mother. After closing the door Lorelai hesitantly walked into the living room unsure of what to do. She didn't sit down.

Being able to tell that her mother did not know how to begin, Rory decided to make the first step.

"Hi, I've been waiting for you."

Lorelai was surprised at that statement and let out a slightly uneasy "You have?"

"Yup" Rory merely nodded.

"Okay" Lorelai went on more slowly "well, we have a lot of stuff to talk about-"

"You're right" Rory interrupted her. "We do. I have a lot to say. I have a lot to say to you, like sorry." The words had been coming out fast and Lorelai was surprised at how easily they seemed to come out of Rory's mouth like she had been going over them in her mind beforehand. Lorelai could see that it wasn't last night's Rory sitting on the couch looking at her expectantly. Nevertheless, all Lorelai could do was sit down in the chair across from Rory and nod her head urging her daughter to go on. She couldn't just say that it was okay, because it simply wasn't.

"I am sorry mom" Rory said sincerely. "I am sorry for how I acted, for what I said, for what I've done" Rory said meaning especially one event in the recent past. "I know I can't do anything to reverse it now, but I want you to know that I wish I could change how things have gone. After you left last night I did a lot of thinking. I know I haven't been myself lately. I have been rude to people that love and care about me, I have been pitying myself, I have blamed everyone and everything for my own unhappiness. That's not me. I know. I have been an ass lately- mildly said. I have to say I quite hate myself at the moment." Rory made a pause but Lorelai still wasn't up to saying anything. "You know, you said last night that you were ashamed of being my mother and you have every reason to be. I mean, I slept with a married man, possibly destroying a marriage, and I didn't even love the guy. I did it because I loved the attention and I loved the feeling of being desired, but that doesn't make it any better. And the worst part is that I thought I wasn't doing anything wrong. I thought that I had just given in to a sentiment and you can't do anything against that. But I should have thought about it. I should have cared about what I was doing, but I didn't. I don't know, I haven't been caring about anything lately." Rory had teared up while ranting. When she had finished she had a tear-stained face and black mascara smeared underneath her eyes.

She was so helpless sitting there on the couch, not knowing what to do. It broke Lorelai's heart seeing her daughter like this knowing she wouldn't be able to help.

"Mom- I don't know what to do." Rory almost whispered. The emotional outburst had gotten to her and the weight of having realized she herself was the reason for her own misery was lying heavily on her shoulders.

"Well," Lorelai finally started "I can't help you with that. I accept your apology and I'm glad you realized what you have done, but not matter how much I want to, I can't help you- You have to help yourself" Rory looked up at her mother. Lorelai was for the first time in her life denying her help? Rory was confused. That had never happened before.

"I am sorry to say, but I can't. This is your problem Rory and no one can help you solve it but yourself. I don't think you know who you are or what you want at the moment and I think you need to figure it out. All I can say, that I am here for you to listen if you want to talk. I will be always here for you. No matter what happened last night or what I said, I love you. I love you because you are my daughter and this love is unconditionally. Nothing could make me stop loving my daughter, hear me? I may not be proud of you at the moment, but I am pretty sure I'll be proud of you again in the future. You just need to figure out how to be yourself again. I don't know when or how you lost yourself, but you need to start finding some answers." Lorelai sighed. Rory had listened attentively to her words and Lorelai knew Rory had understood. No matter how much she wanted to fix this for Rory, she couldn't. Luke had been right. There was nothing to do for Rory but be there for her and morally support her. She looked down starting to feel like she was going to cry as well but she wouldn't allow herself to cry.

Rory was still gazing off going over her mother's words. Lorelai was right. Rory didn't know who she was anymore. Rory wasn't happy and she had to find out who she was and what she wanted in order to be happy again.

A few minutes had passed in silence. Neither of them really knew what to say, now that all things had been said. Was Rory to leave or was Lorelai to get up and go to work? Rory finally broke the quiet.

"I love you, mom" she uttered.

"I know you do" Lorelai responded and took it as a sign for her to leave Rory alone and to let her think some more. "I need to get to the Inn. I think I'll have lunch at Luke's if you are to come over. Otherwise I'll be home around dinner time. I don't now what you're up to, but call me if you do anything. I won't hold you back from anything, I just want to now what you do an where you are going."

After Rory had agreed Lorelai got up, grabbed a few things from the side-table like her cell phone which she had left there last night and left the house. She got into her jeep and as she pulled out of her drive-way she saw Rory walk out the door as well waving at her mother but walking in direction of the town's center. Rory had stuff to do. Lorelai would have to wait. She sighed once again but a heavy load had been lifted from her heart. She still doubted how fast things would get better but deep inside she knew that they would get better eventually. As she drove towards her inn she resolved to call and check up on Luke as soon as she got there. And there it was. Lorelai was smiling again.

**A.N: **Okay, this took me a long time to write and I am not sure whether this chapter is any good. I had a hard time writing – writer's block I supposed – and I am not perfectly happy with it. However, I wanted to update real badly and please do me a favour and help me by reviewing. I could really use that considering the "writing is hard"-mood I am in at the moment. So again, comments of any kind are appreciated! Bye, Janine


	5. It's called closure my friend

**Disclaimer: **Hey, someone should come up with a few good disclaimers and sell them to people like me who can't come up with anything good. That could be a well-paid job, don't you thin?So here comes my boring one: I don't own anything.

**Chapter 5:** **It's called closure, my friend**

Rory didn't even waste time by watching her mother drive off. She was determined to get something done. Something she should have done a long time ago. Something she had put of for what seemed like forever. Possibly the first step at getting her own sanity back. Closure. That was something she needed. Finish up with the past in order to be ready for the future and to be able to work on the present.

Before Rory even knew she had reached the square. Wow, she never knew she was such a good walker when she was determined. Well, in shape she definitely wasn't. She had walked too fast and now she was breathing hard. She had been so wrapped up in the thought of wrapping things up that she hadn't even noticed the critical physical condition she was putting herself into. She had walked too fast and had to take a break before continuing on her mission. Ironically, had she walked normal pace she probably would have reached her destination by now, but oh well. No she was all sweaty and out of breath hunching over by the gazebo holding her aching sides in everyone's view. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Ms. Patty move towards her.

"Rory, honey, are you okay? You look like you've just run the New York marathon. Well, actually you look worse. Is everything all right?" The elder woman asked worriedly.

"I'm fine" Rory pressed out. Talking took away too much breath. Ms. Patty was now right beside her putting an arm protectively around her shoulder and patting her softly on the back. Rory tried to get enough oxygen back into her body.

Right then Taylor came rushing over the square as well. He had seen Rory and Ms. Patty and being a town official and well being Taylor thinking everything in Stars Hollow concerned him he immediately left his shop and rushed over.

"Is Rory all right? Did something happen? An accident? Out of the way Patty, let me help her." Taylor came up right next to Rory and Ms. Patty retreated sighins since she knew there was nothing to do against Taylor. The latter started talking to Rory questioning her about what had happened to her, but she couldn't answer and before she even knew half of Stars Hollow was around her. Well, once Taylor was there, the whole town knew that usually there was something about to happen. It was like some freaking carnival. The locals were a great audience. Stars Hollow seriously needed a real movie theater Rory thought to herself still not being able to catch her breath. Rory silently cursed herself for not working out. This is ridiculous, she thought to herself.

Suddenly she could hear Taylor say something about calling an ambulance and she could sense commotion in the crowd and people determined to fulfil Taylor's order.

"No-" Rory yelled out. "I'm fine, no need for 911" she said still breathing hard. "I just….I just walked to fast" she continued trying to straighten herself up.

Oh man, this was horrible. Everyone was staring at her. Usually she liked being Stars Hollow's princess, but not now. Why couldn't just everyone mind their own business? This wasn't freaking Big Brother.

"I'm fine" Rory said once more trying to make people go away. However, they wouldn't move but just kept staring at her. Rory let out a frustrated "Ouf" and started walking away, slowly this time. This town sometimes was even too crazy for a Gilmore Girl.

She didn't turn around but she knew that people were still watching her. She knew that soon Taylor would give a little speech about handling the problem and he would then come after her. This was the last thing Rory wanted at the moment. She needed to do what she needed to do and Taylor was in the way for that. So better do it quickly Rory thought. She then entered Doose's and put on a determined expression.

* * *

Dean had been stacking cans all morning and Taylor had been driving him crazy with his new stacking instructions. Yes, Taylor had made a plan of how to stack cans. Is there really more than one way to stack cans? Taylor definitely thought so. Dean didn't. He stacked cans and just nodded at Taylor's words pretending to listen. He was happy when Taylor had rushed out of the store. It seemed like something had happened on the square but Dean didn't bother looking. He was happy to have Taylor of his back.

He didn't notice her come in and when he looked up and saw her standing right in front of him looking at him expectantly like she was waiting for him to notice her he was taken aback for a moment. They hadn't talked since that one night. He had tried to talk to her, but she would always walk or run away. And Lorelai wouldn't let him inside the house either. Now she was here, obviously ready to talk.

"Rory" he said as if to proof to himself that she was really standing in front of him.

"Yes" she said looking straight into his eyes. He couldn't make up any kind of emotion however. No disgust, no guilt, no love… She looked determined. Simply determined. He sensed that he had lost right there.

"Dean- I need to say something and I don't want you to interrupt me. Please let me make this straight. No talk. I need to say something to you. There's no need arguing about it. I've made up my mind and you'll have to accept it." She told him. He looked at her blankly sensing what was coming. The more time had passed the more he had anticipated this to come, but he had still hoped that it wouldn't.

"I regret what happened" Rory continued. "It never should have happened. We made an awful mistake and I think we should keep out of each other's ways. We are over, we were a long time ago. You're married now and I don't think we should be friends or anything else. I'm done with all of that. This, us, we're done. Finally I know that we are done. Goodbye Dean" Rory finished looking at him only a second. He seemed sad, but not surprised. Hurt, but not surprised. Rory then turned and headed home. She had done what she had to do. Wrap up things. Closure. The Dean box could now go back into the closet to be shoved only further into the back as time passed on, never to be taken out again. Maybe to be thrown away some time.

Dean watched her walk out of the shop and run into Taylor. They seemed to be discussing something. It wasn't any of his business though. He had lost Rory Gilmore. This time it was for real. There was no turning back. He had a life without her ahead of himself. A life full of work and with an unhappy marriage. There was nothing he could do about it. He was destined to love someone who wouldn't love him back. He'd have to live with it.

**A.N.: **This came out quite quickly. I guess writer's block is gone. At least I hope so. I don't know how this chapter went, since I simply wrote it without thinking to much about it. Next chapters should be more Luke and Lorelai. Well, as always, please review! Thanks, Janine


	6. Revelations, decisions, ideas and a hung...

**Disclaimer: **I don't claim anything- get over it!

* * *

**Chapter 6: Revelations, decisions, ideas and a hungry Kirk**

In his diner Luke was serving the regular lunch crowd when Lorelai came in and took a seat at the counter smiling at him. He watched her while serving two costumers their burgers and her smile relieved him. Her and Rory seemed to have worked things out. He had never liked it when the two of them had fought. It rarely happened and when it did it was like a bomb exploding. The two of them cared so much for each other that they wouldn't fight on a regular basis, so when they did they ended up extremely hurt.

Luke was happy that they had worked it out so quickly this time. At least he thought so when he looked at Lorelai. Her face had regained his natural color and her eyes were as sparkling as before. Last night seemed to be a distant memory. All of her sadness seemed to have been washed away during the last hours since he had seen her this morning.

Slightly smiling himself he walked up to her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before going back behind the counter to get her some coffee.

Lorelai had been smiling at him the whole time, but she didn't say anything.

"Hey, are you feeling better? Did you work things out with Rory?" Luke questioned her, but she was not about to get into that subject. She had something else on mind, something she had been thinking about all morning.

"I love you" she said, smiling at him, looking at him in glee.

Luke was stunned. Did she really just say that? An I love you coming out of Lorelai's mouth in the middle of the day in the middle of his crowded diner so casually. It had sounded casual but also sincere. Luke couldn't say anything. He just looked at her smiling back at him. He had always pictured himself being the first one to say it. Lorelai had never been the first to take steps forward and so he had thought, he would say it some time when she was ready for it. He had never thought that she would catch him by surprise and be the first one to say it after having only dated for two months.

"You know, "she continued without waiting for a reply "I figured it out this morning. You were always there, you are the one that makes me happy, I smile when I think about you which I do constantly, actually I can't get you off my mind, and I think I've been driving Sookie and Michel crazy with all my giddiness, you can be just as crazy as I am, you lift me up when I am down and you never let me down. But you know the biggest part ii why it is that you can do that and it's simple: I love you." Lorelai finished only making Luke even more stunned. Such a revelation without even having touched her coffee. Was he dreaming? But then again no, definitely not. Kirk was sitting over there waving at him frantically from a table because he wanted to order. And Cesar was behind him in the kitchen rummaging with things, dropping plates.

This was for real. Lorelai was there and she loved him. She loved him. 2 months ago he wouldn't even allow himself to think about it, it seemed so impossible. But it was happening, it was truly happening. The woman he had secretly loved for years finally loved him back.

"Okay" Lorelai said moving on with the regular procedure "I think I'll have a turkey melt today and a piece of your apple-pie please." She looked at him waiting for him to move and tell Cesar her order, but he didn't move an inch.

"I love you too you know" he said sincerely, meaning it with all his heart.

Lorelai's smile only grew wider. Considering how this day had started it had turned into a great one, possibly the best in the last week, but no, wait Friday had been the best, oh yeah, Friday had definitely been the best. "Dirty" she scolded herself silently. 

"I know" she responded.

"Good, I'll get you your food" Luke said and got back to work. Everyone in the diner though noticed the two of them smiling, looking happier than they had looked in years. The guests solemnly agreed that the two of them made a great couple destined to be together. Why hadn't they figured it out sooner?

The only one in the diner who was not happy for them was Kirk. He had been in the diner for a while and he should have been the next customer to order, but once again Lorelai had gotten in between him and his food. A hungry Kirk was not a happy one. Damn Lorelai, he wanted a burger! Frustrated he got up and made a little scene while exiting the diner exclaiming dramatically "First I don't get my order and now I won't even be allowed to order. What kind of world is this?" No one really cared though. Lorelai shot him an amused grin. Kirk was Kirk.

When she turned back she found her food already in front of her. Luke was wiping his hands with a towel smiling at her before moving around the counter again. She smiled back at him, noting that it was almost 12:45 PM and Rory hadn't showed up. Lorelai however wouldn't allow herself to take it as a bad sign. Rory was probably just busy with other stuff. Yeah, that had to be it.

* * *

A few hours later in Hartford a young man was sitting in a diner looking at his money spread out in front of him on the table. Subtracting the money he needed for food today and the following morning he had exactly enough money left to pay for a bus ticket to New York. The second option was buying a ticket to Stars Hollow and have some money left over, but that would mean not being able to leave the little creepy town immediately. It was either Stars Hollow for at least a few days, or straight to New York and forget about it.

Tough choice. Remembering Stars Hollow, the small town with all its crazy town gatherings and people, it didn't sound so inviting but it was after all his only way out. He had left everything behind to go there. He knew he needed to start new and Stars Hollow was the only place he could do that. It scared him though. Going back there. He knew what he would face there. New York sounded much more inviting. There he could hide in the crowd, no one knew him, he would blend in. Life would be faceless there. He could go without even talking to people. Now Stars Hollow would be essentially different.

He sighed. New York. Stars Hollow. His two choices. He had been putting of the decision for so many days now. It had scared him. Making the final step scared him. He had only gotten as far as Hartford when he had chickened out. It was pathetic. He was afraid. And know he was left with one or the other.

He sighed again. The waitress came by to ask him if he wanted anything else. When he just said "nah" and didn't even look up she gave him a strange look he didn't see. She hated impolite costumers. Especially the kind like him. To wrapped up in his own thoughts to even notice the outside world.

Little did she know that inside this guy there was something like World War 3 going on. He fought himself. Part of him wanted to go to New York,live an easy life from day to day without commitments and without people. The other part of him wanted consistency, feelings, people to care about, a life with a sense, a real life like most people had. This was what Stars Hollow offered him.

It was all or nothing.

This was what it came down to.

He was either in with all or out. So fold, or play your cards?

He never was much of a poker player, but now he felt like one.

"Fuck it" He said, unaware that he'd said it out loud and that people stared it him. But he had never cared what other people thought about him. He collected his money, left enough to pay for the food he'd had and without looking back went out of the diner across the road into the travel agency.

There he got a ticket to Stars Hollow, immediately regretted his purchase but was kind of relieved when he saw he couldn't return the ticket. It was for tomorrow. The ticket was for tomorrow. He would go there tomorrow. No maybe. It was a yes. A yes.

Stars Hollow it would be.

He stood there on the side-walk oblivious to people walking by the bus ticket in hand. His decision in hand. He kept staring at it. STARS HOLLOW. In capital letters.

When he looked up he could see a man entering the diner on the other side of the street. The man looked familiar. He looked again. Was it…no it couldn't be…Kirk would never eat in any diner besides Luke's because he was afraid of even leaving Stars Hollow. Plus, eating elsewhere would put him in danger of being infected with germs of some way. After all Kirk had been calling people from the Public Health Department to make sure Luke's food was germ-free.

This couldn't be the maybe craziest resident of Stars Hollow? Wait, no, Taylor was even crazier. Hardly possible, but Taylor definitely was the top notch in this criteria.

So it was the second craziest citizen, but it definitely was him. It was Kirk.

He turned away eager to get away, before Kirk could see him. The last thing he wanted was people in Stars Hollow to know that he was there before he got the chance to take care of stuff.

So he left.

Inside the diner Kirk had sat down at a table. He got up real quickly though, when he saw an old paper-back book lying on the chair beside him. Somebody had forgotten it. It could be infected with anything. God knows what people had on their hands.

So Kirk rushed out of the diner determined to go back to Stars Hollow. Maybe Lorelai had left and he stood a chance of actually getting served at Luke's. And even if he didn't get food there: Anything, even hunger, was better, than Hartford with its dirty, germ-infested, bacteria-flooded diners.

* * *

At the Gilmore Girls' home Rory was sitting in her room, books, papers, stuffed animals and all kinds of stuff lying around her cluttering the floor. The spot she was sitting in was practically the only one not covered with stuff. Once she had gotten home, after a long time of convincing Taylor that she was alright and walking extra slow this time, she had decided that it was time for her to get rid of old stuff. Stuff she didn't need anymore. De-cluttering- The first step to finding yourself again. Get rid of all the garbage to have a clear view of things. She had even decided to throw out some books she didn't think were worth keeping.

Now she had gotten around to her closet. She had already gone through most of the clothes and had discarded a lot of old ones she and her mom wouldn't wear anymore. The only stuff left to de-clutter were the boxes stacked at the bottom of the closet. She pulled out a few noticing it was old school-stuff from Chilton. Knowing she didn't need any of this anymore she threw them all out at once. She had kept it thinking she might need some of that stuff at Yale, but as it turned out she didn't. There were only two boxes left. She pulled out the bigger one of the two and since she couldn't find anything written on it, she opened it.

She immediately knew what was in this box when she saw the things on top and why she hadn't written anything on it. Her heart made a deep thump. She sighed. Typical. Stuff like that to turn up in a moment of crisis.

No she didn't need this. Not now. She didn't want to think about it, or him, to be exact. So she simply put the box were it was, maybe pushing it even further into the back of the closet. She knew she wouldn't take it out for quite a while, at least she didn't feel inclined to.

Distracting herself from it she moved on to the other box. She shrugged when she saw 'Harvard' written on top of it. She didn't remember keeping it. She thought she had thrown it all away when she had decided to go to Yale. Obviously she had not. She had just put it away.

Without further ado she opened the box and started taking out leaflets. Before she knew she was looking at them, remembering why she had always wanted to go to Harvard. She sighed. Maybe things would have been different had she went there. Harvard had been her dream, but she had chosen Yale, because on her pro-con list it had been the clear winner. Last year she had been confident about that decision, but now she realized she was beginning to doubt it. Had Yale been the right choice? Should she have gone to Harvard instead?

All of a sudden she got hit with an idea. She dragged out her Yale-directory and looked up the number of the admission's office and the counsellor.

After making some calls and getting the information she needed, she looked up some more numbers and made some more calls. Not to New Haven this time, but to Boston.

"Harvard University general office" The friendly voice said on the other name "Who can I connect you with?"

Without further thought Rory answered: "Hello, I need to talk to someone who's in charge of transfers please".

On the other end she heard a nice little melody indicating that she was being connected.

It was just an idea, but maybe it was just what she needed.

* * *

**A.N.: **Okay, this is more light-hearted than the previous chapters. I think I like this one better than the last ones. Anyways, thanks so much for the reviews. It's always good to read them. Only way to know if people really read your stuff and really the only way to know if people like it! So if you like it, and also if you don't like it please review. I want to improve, you know! So help me out and review… Bye, I don't know how long I will take with the next chapter, but I promise I'll work on it, Janine


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